Giving a Damn

Yesterday, I had my "End of year performance evaluation" with my assistant principal.  As part of my evaluation, she had read the student evaluations I had had my students complete, both about my class and also about themselves and their participation in my class.  She got first crack at them--I hadn't seen them yet.    These were evaluations that I had written for them--there are not school wide evaluations.

Anyway, she looked at me with a smile and said, "I am SO glad to know that you give a fuck about your students."  Surprised, as anyone would, I think, be at that statement, I simply blinked at her.  With a laugh, she produced an evaluation from the top of the pile.  Written in the space under the question 'What could Ms. L do to help you out more?' was the following answer:  "Nothing.  Ms. L is an incredible teacher.  She is strict, but she is strict because she gives a fuck about us.  Like, she actually cares--none of this "yeah I really care about you all" crap."

In case you are curious, the evaluation was great!  I was pretty excited about that.

But that's not the point of this post.  I couldn't get the words written by my student out of my head.  My assistant principal and I talked a lot about forming bonds with students.  But I guess what really got me on this is that this was not the only student who realized that my strict boundaries and rules applied to ALL of us in the class, me included, and it was me showing that I cared about them and wanted them to take safe risks and make good choices.  Not only that, but it was not lost on the students how much some other teachers' lying words of caring were untrue.  NEVER would I say that I am the only teacher who cares for her students at this school.  NEVER.  Don't read it that way.

What I am saying is that the way to show students we "give a fuck" about them is to set rules and boundaries and to make sure that they apply to YOU as well as to them.  Don't set up the oft-seen "us vs. them" mentality.  If you listen to the students, they are more likely to listen to you in return.

How do you show students you care?  Did you have a teacher who was really good at showing they cared? How did they show it?